7 Mothers On Parenting In A Pandemic
What's it like for parents navigating life under lockdown in Brazil? Or the UK? We spoke to women around the world for a portrait of parenting in a pandemic
PRIMER, 2020
Most parents would agree that motherhood has always had its ups and downs.
But parenting in a pandemic? That comes with an entirely new set of challenges.
Around the world, as Covid-19 infection rates rise and schools shut down, mothers are contending with an array of circumstances. Some are managing home-schooling, while simultaneously holding down jobs; others are dealing with mental health issues (either their children’s or theirs).
We spoke to seven women in different countries about motherhood in a pandemic.
“My children have both regressed”
Kerry Potter is a journalist who lives in the UK with her husband and two children, who are nine and 13
I’m writing this at 5.30am, otherwise it won’t happen. My work, once 9-5, is now crammed into the crevices: pre-dawn, while the pasta is cooking, Saturday night when I really, really should be doing something more fun.
Except there’s no fun to be had here. We’ve been in lockdown on and off for almost a year. We have the world’s worst Covid-19 death rate per capita and everyone knows someone who has died. We’re currently not allowed out of the house, unless for essential reasons.
My children have not attended school for nine months out of the last year. They have both regressed: the youngest speaks in a baby-voice, the oldest won’t step outside without a parent by her side.
My husband and I are supposed to home-school them, while holding down our day jobs and keeping on top of the endless meal prep and housework. Spoiler alert: it’s impossible.
I’m uneasy about moaning publicly about this. I’ll be slapped down, as is the way here now, with everyone, whatever their situation, at the end of their tether. “At least you’ve still got a job.” “At least you don’t work in an ICU unit.” “At least you’re not dead” (my own mother said this to me last week). All true, I suppose. But it doesn’t stop the black, seething resentment. The pandemic is bringing out the worst in me, and I find myself jealous of my friends who’ve got their children into school because they qualify as a key worker under the government’s newly relaxed definition. This has got to end soon – hasn’t it?”
“My family had Covid-19 last month”
Hirome Moura, 42, is a marketing manager who lives in Sao Paulo, Brazil, with her husband and two children, who are 15 and 12
“We fell ill with Covid-19 last month. The symptoms started on January 6, and my children and I were only moderately unwell, but my husband has diabetes and contracted pneumonia. He had to spend a night in hospital. It was scary.
Schools have only just reopened in Brazil. The children go one week and then study from home the alternate week to keep school capacity at 35 per cent and reduce the spread of Covid-19.
It’s so much better than last year, when the schools were shut. My daughter was ok – she studied a lot, but she missed her friends. But my son has ADHD and can’t pay attention with the teacher contact. So, on the weekends, my husband and I would do extra study with him. He missed his girlfriend, too.
Working from home, while the children were home-schooling and while doing all the washing, cooking, cleaning tested my patience.
I don’t feel safe in Brazil. I don’t trust our President Jair Bolsonaro [who has described Covid-19 as a “little flu”]. I look for my own information on the internet. So many Brazilians feel let down by the way Covid-19 has been handled here.”
As told to Anna Saunders
“My biggest stress was supporting my family”